“where have you been?”
*for all the wistful romantics out there
You creep in, crawl into bed beside me, and stop moving
“Where have you been?” I say
It’s not that I don’t know where you were
Or that I’ve worried while you’ve been gone
“Where have you been?”
My voice gravely, I must have been sleeping
Eyes closed, I turn my head towards you
My left cheek settles on the soft pillow
I breathe in, and exhale a soft, “mmm”
“Where have you been?”
My voice still breathy, calm, and sure
“Where have you been?”
I keep saying
I drag my head onto your bony chest
My right arm finds its way to your mid-abdomen
I nuzzle softly, finding my place
“Where have you been?”
I inhale as deeply as my lungs allow
I just love how much you smell like ‘you’
“Where have you been?”
I say again
This time, just a whisper
“Where have you been?”
The words leak past my lips
Softly parted as I drift back to sleep
…
7:30 am
I sit up abruptly
I’m feeling uneasy, unsettled, unsure
My eyes dart around the room, I’m scanning for you
I Panic
And then,
I see you
Boxer clad, electric toothbrush in hand
Toothpaste dribble leaking from the corners of your mouth
Starring at yourself in the mirror
Trying to clean out every single crevice
My shoulders drop
It was just a dream
You swish and spit
Turn around, walk back into our bedroom
And look at me with the easiest smile
I melt a little
When it came to my icy heart
Your smile was always a flame thrower
I just didn’t stand a chance
I smile back, breathily
I’m just a little overwhelmed
“Where have you been?” I say
I mean I know you’ve been brushing your teeth
But this poem isn’t about where you’ve really been anyway
“Where have you been?”
I just like saying it
I don’t need an answer, in fact I don’t even want one
“Where have you been?”
I keep on saying it
Because every time I say it, I remember
No matter where you’ve ever been,
You’re here now.
You weren’t always though
There was a time when I was a mid-twenties girl
Writing poetry alone on a Saturday night
Wondering what it might be like
When I got to ask, “Where have you been?”
But really mean, “I’m so glad you’re here.”